Nalej of Self, LLC started off as a private practice, providing individual, group and family therapy. But, during the pandemic, things started to shift for me. Being a therapist in 2020 became emotionally overwhelming. The need for therapists was high, and my business phone was ringing non-stop. Like many others during the pandemic, it was difficult to manage my own mental health. My depression and anxiety increased substantially, and I struggled with alcohol addiction. There would be many days when I’d see 8 clients back-to-back, and have nothing left to give myself, completely exhausted and feeling constantly engaged in fight or flight. While I absolutely care for every human being I have worked with, (because they are dope and amazing humans), I realized I was experiencing severe vicarious trauma and burnout.

I had a rock bottom. An ugly one. One that took me to the ICU.  (You’ll have to wait for the book for that story!) I remember feeling like I was at a crossroads, and I had to make a choice. A choice about what I really believed in. I had been teaching healing, but neglecting my own. Eager to help others, at the expense of myself. That’s backwards, (insert the airplane mask analogy here). I had to make a choice and I chose healing. I’ve been sober from alcohol since January 29, 2021. I also made the decision to pivot out of therapy and into life coaching, consulting and speaking.  I made a conscious choice to prioritize my health and this looked like a shift in my mindset. From hard work to smart work.

I realized I was working at a pace that was impossible to maintain. The hustle and grind was something I had pride in. In 2020, I was teaching at a university, attending real estate school, running a full time private practice, and I was a homeowner and landlord. “Building an empire”, is what I called it. In reality, I was stuck in a cycle of achievement addiction- a productivity loop. Stuck in a belief system that says productivity= your worth. After my rock bottom, I woke up in a life that didn’t resonate with me anymore. It was time for me to pivot!

I had to pivot for my life! Here's what I recognized- I can help others, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of myself, of my health or of my mental health. Pivoting in my business allowed me to bring my expertise with me, while allowing me to show up in a way that honors my health. With this shift, I have more time to focus on what matters to me. Living my life. Exploring the globe. Reading books, writing my book (eventually). Learning a new language. Meditating on the beach. Frolicing. You know, being a human, having a human experience. 

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In 2023, I made the biggest pivot of my life! I sold my 2 family investment property, my red Mercedes Benz, paid off all my debt and student loans- and I moved to Playa del Carmen, Mexico! I am writing this from a cafe near the beach. My time in the ICU made me realize that life is short, and I have to follow my dreams. ALL of them. So, I’m sipping my iced coffee with plans to meditate on the beach after this. I am a debt free Black woman, with a business I can run from my Macbook, and I intend to explore the world as a digital nomad. And I hope if nothing else, reading this reminds you that there is more than one way to live your life. Cause I’m gonna live the hell out of mine!

As always, 

Gratitude